張明權(quán) |
本期點(diǎn)評(píng)專家:張明權(quán)
譯題一:“過(guò)勞死”事件余波未了 白領(lǐng)棄高薪裸辭
參考譯文:
After Kaloshi, the Naked Resignation
Stung by the news of a rookie white collar cut off in her prime who had just graduated for half a year, several employees have given up, according to their posts in forums, their "pressurized: positions that may earn each of them an annual pension of more than RMB 100, 000 at "Big Four" (PWC, DTT, Ernest & Young, and KPMC) and top 500 enterprises. The "quitters" say they need to take a rest or find an alternative job of low pay but with little pressure. The call for "a life away from Big Four" echoed on the microblog heats up the "naked resignation wave" in a season of job hunting. However, employees are warned by HR experts against overacting to the incident, while employers are prompted to take viable measures to help relax their employees.
全球化是當(dāng)今翻譯的最大語(yǔ)境,在一個(gè)超級(jí)互聯(lián)的世界里,任何信息都會(huì)瞬間傳遍全球,許多詞匯因此開(kāi)始在全球共享,比如源于日語(yǔ)的kaloshi(過(guò)勞死),比如不知道算不算中國(guó)人首創(chuàng)的naked resignation(裸辭)等。在中國(guó)加入WTO以后,世界500強(qiáng)企業(yè)大多已經(jīng)進(jìn)入中國(guó),四大會(huì)計(jì)師事務(wù)所也在中國(guó)開(kāi)辦了業(yè)務(wù),中國(guó)不僅完全融入了世界,而且中國(guó)就是世界的縮影,全球共此冷暖,詞匯同樣可以分享,因此一些China English的詞匯不斷被創(chuàng)造出來(lái),比如之前探討過(guò)的ungelivable等。
譯題一標(biāo)題中的兩件事是接續(xù)發(fā)生的,在翻譯的時(shí)侯把二者串起來(lái)很重要,karen87和momowuwen都使用了in the wake of來(lái)翻譯,表示在“過(guò)勞死”之后,“裸辭”接踵而至;clumsy和serenatan分別用prompt和cause來(lái)揭示兩件事情之間的因果關(guān)系;這些翻譯都是正確的。“觸動(dòng)”也需翻得形象一點(diǎn),而且“受到此事觸動(dòng)”是聯(lián)系上下文的紐帶,不少網(wǎng)友忽視了這一點(diǎn),但clumsy處理的很好,用alarmed by領(lǐng)跑一個(gè)復(fù)雜的句子,并能把原文的多余信息處理掉。該網(wǎng)友的翻譯整體上很好,不過(guò)用resignation wave來(lái)對(duì)譯“裸辭”,反映了譯者對(duì)直譯和使用中國(guó)英語(yǔ)的擔(dān)心。“超高壓”一詞也不容易翻譯,pressurized這個(gè)詞本義是“增壓的”,也引申指“忙不過(guò)來(lái)的”,筆者覺(jué)得比直譯superpressure positions或high-pressured要更地道一些。“矯枉過(guò)正”的翻譯也不一而足,有些網(wǎng)友過(guò)分依賴詞典,使用overcorrect來(lái)對(duì)譯是不可取的,成語(yǔ)的翻譯一定要結(jié)合上下文,所以要指明是overreact to the incident,也就是一位女員工偶然早逝的這一事件。
翻譯不僅是詞語(yǔ)的問(wèn)題,更重要的是句子結(jié)構(gòu)和段落的整體布局的調(diào)整,比如這里的口號(hào)“珍愛(ài)生命,遠(yuǎn)離四大”,放在calling for后面時(shí),一定要用名詞或動(dòng)名詞的形式,還有就是英語(yǔ)的詞匯對(duì)句型的要求往往很高,在翻譯時(shí)一定要給與特別的關(guān)注,比如像The echo of "death from overwork" determined the high-income white-collars resign這樣的翻譯中,就忽略了resign的詞性,在網(wǎng)友的翻譯還有不少此類問(wèn)題,限于篇幅不能一一指出。
參考譯文:
"Mum would be so proud of Kate", says Prince William
More details are exposed of the scheduled nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton. One top official of the royal household publicized in advance the future King's speech: the son would show tributes to his mother, the late Lady Diana, as much as to say "I miss you every day"; he would speak of the two most important women of his life, and that "Mum would be so proud of Kate".
According to the said official, this speech of William's would show his emotional side unknown to his people, it would be the most affecting and move all guests to tears present at the wedding. William would proceed with resemblances between Kate and Mum and virtues they share, especially in showing benevolence, and Mum would be "shrilled" at his son and Kate getting married.
關(guān)于英國(guó)王室的報(bào)道大多是根據(jù)英語(yǔ)報(bào)道編譯成中文的,現(xiàn)在要翻譯成英語(yǔ)首先必然涉及回譯的技巧,特別是有關(guān)威廉王子演講的內(nèi)容,最好能找到原文,回譯過(guò)去,可惜的是我查閱了相關(guān)的報(bào)道,并沒(méi)有找到王子完整的講話稿,只有一些只言片語(yǔ),零星的看出他的一些用詞,比如proud, miss, thrilled等。再一個(gè)就是如何處理王子與戴安娜王妃的關(guān)系用語(yǔ)問(wèn)題,在這個(gè)展示王子感性一面的演講中,自然要用到Mum和son這樣的詞,所以這也是翻譯特別要注意的地方。
該譯題的網(wǎng)友譯文比較優(yōu)秀有rollyn-fighting, clumsy等網(wǎng)友,但可惜的是rollyn-fighting和其他很多網(wǎng)友一樣,把every day寫(xiě)成了everyday。
“以兒媳為榮”這句話在很多報(bào)道中有所涉及,譯成proud of Kate感覺(jué)更親切一些,特別是用直接引語(yǔ),不要譯成proud of her daughter-in-law,有網(wǎng)友翻譯出Prince William claims that Princess Diana will be pround(原文如此)of her wife,明顯是用錯(cuò)了代詞her。“相提并論”大多數(shù)網(wǎng)友都翻譯成了compare,給人“可以比較”的感覺(jué),不符合英國(guó)英語(yǔ)低調(diào)陳述的特征,用speak of就可以了。“感性的一面”有網(wǎng)友翻譯成sensitive,這個(gè)詞確實(shí)有褒義色彩,表示“有細(xì)膩感情的”意思,令我想到了Jane Austen的小說(shuō)Sense and Sensitivity,但我偏向使用更低調(diào)的emotional這個(gè)詞。
參考譯文:
Shanghai Auto Show "Green" with Electric Cars
Shanghai Auto Show 2011 is tinged outside and in with full green, all the way from the exhibition gateway erected by the Organization Committee to the energy-efficient cars, electric cars, concept cars, etc. that are being promoted by car dealers.
All these eco friendly cars of trendy designs and high tech not only meet the strong desire for momentum, but also drastically reduce fuel consumption and exhausts. It is believed that we are heading for the near future when technologies and hardware facilities along the way grow consummate for widespread use of electric cars.
本譯題標(biāo)題中,“綠”字作動(dòng)詞用,在英語(yǔ)中并無(wú)對(duì)等說(shuō)法,雖然英語(yǔ)中的green同樣與環(huán)保有關(guān)。在翻譯時(shí)可以交替使用green和eco friendly來(lái)翻譯“綠色環(huán)保”,但英語(yǔ)中不要在同一地方復(fù)用這兩個(gè)詞。漢語(yǔ)第一段由幾個(gè)小句組成,但都圍繞一個(gè)中心,那就是展廳內(nèi)外濃郁的綠色環(huán)保氣息,rollyn-fighting使用brim這一動(dòng)詞的進(jìn)行時(shí)來(lái)翻譯全句的中心動(dòng)詞很形象,lisonwang使用的overwhelm一詞感覺(jué)有些過(guò)了,clumsy和guanyu168則側(cè)重意譯,jasmine-I使用perfume一詞可能考慮了視覺(jué)和嗅覺(jué)的通感修辭,是否能被英語(yǔ)讀者接受存疑,其他網(wǎng)友則往往譯成了filled with,不是很形象。“時(shí)尚潮流”又是漢語(yǔ)的同義詞復(fù)用的例子,意思上等于trendy, fashionable, chic等英語(yǔ)詞匯,“科技智慧”則屬于上下義關(guān)系,科技是一種智慧,但technology wisdom卻并非原文所要表達(dá)的內(nèi)在含義,從上下文理解,這里可以譯成high tech,還有就是漢語(yǔ)科技并稱,但從汽車制造來(lái)講,這里涉及的主要是技術(shù)問(wèn)題,所幸的是大部分網(wǎng)友注意到了這個(gè)問(wèn)題,但似乎都不愿意舍棄wisdom一詞,原因可能是沒(méi)有正確理解漢英構(gòu)詞習(xí)慣上的差異。“周圍的配套硬件設(shè)施”涉及一些常識(shí)問(wèn)題,既然要發(fā)展新能源汽車,比如電動(dòng)汽車,那就需要沿途設(shè)置充電站,所以這里要把這一層意思譯出來(lái)才好。
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專家簡(jiǎn)介:
張明權(quán),安徽省固鎮(zhèn)縣人,江蘇大學(xué)外國(guó)語(yǔ)學(xué)院副教授,英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)言文學(xué)碩士,上外博士課程班進(jìn)修。主要從事英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)言學(xué)和翻譯學(xué)研究,在國(guó)內(nèi)外學(xué)術(shù)期刊發(fā)表論文10余篇,出版譯著兩部,發(fā)表其他文章20余篇,有大量翻譯實(shí)踐經(jīng)驗(yàn),翻譯總字?jǐn)?shù)接近200萬(wàn)。Email: mqzhang@ujs.edu.cn。
(作者:張明權(quán) 中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)網(wǎng)英語(yǔ)點(diǎn)津 編輯:Julie)