But we say, if you're thinking about cheating, just break up with the guy, before you move on to a new one. |
As far as stereotypes go, a wandering eye and the urge to jump into bed with multiple partners seems to be built into a man's DNA, but when it comes to cheating, the sexes are created more equally than we think. (Cough, Kristen Stewart, cough.) Renee Lee, a relationship expert with a masters in psychology, dishes out five reasons why women cheat. 1. Going Through A Transition "If it is graduating, turning a certain age, losing a parent or advancing the relationship status, women become introspective," explains Lee. "Even if it is something she wants, such as just getting engaged or graduating, the transition can stir up an array of emotions about where her life is going or where she is in it. The discomfort of change can trigger an impulsive desire to find someone to take her focus off the change and be a diversion for what she is going through." 2. Not Feeling Adequately Celebrated We've all been here: "May it be getting a promotion, organizing a fundraiser, or making Thanksgiving dinner for a party of 20, men often make the misstep of "not complimenting their partner's achievements," Lee says. "Women seek an emotional connection that their partner notices them, is proud of their achievements, and appreciates what they do, so when they aren't getting this at home the residual effects lead to feelings of frustration, dissatisfaction, depression, and restlessness." And that's when they could go looking for it elsewhere. "When you are living in the day to day with someone, it is challenging to step outside a situation and notice the things that do matter to someone," adds Lee "As this wears down over time, so as soon as the woman encounters someone who ignites the spark they are lacking at home, they equate it to an emotional connection and seek companionship with someone else." 3. Feeling A Relationship Ending "When a woman feels that uneasy sense that a relationship is on the outs, by either her doing or his, she will often look to fill the void externally to soften the blow," Lee reasons for a woman's infidelity. "If she is the one considering the breakup, she may be using this tactic as a challenge to herself both testing the waters, and then gauge if she can go through with it." 4. It's Just Not Fun Anymore ...But it's too hard to pull the plug. "When you don't laugh, you don't love. Laughter is one of the key elements in a relationship that often gets overlooked," Lee explains, simply. "When stresses of day to day life become the dominant factor in a relationship, women feel unhappy. When they come across a coworker, or friend that they have a good time with, it suddenly brings to light what is missing in their own relationship and becomes tempting to act upon." 5. It's Boring In The Bedroom Men aren't the only ones who need to spice things up. "Women need to feel desired!" Lee declares. "If she is not getting any, enough, or nothing to talk about, women start to feel a sexual void. With the popularity of books such as Fifty Shades of Grey, television shows, or listening to friends talk about their fun single trysts, women have that moment when they compare their love life at home to what the rest of the world seems to be experiencing." And that's when she may start to wonder what she's missing. "Though it is easy to pinpoint the flaws in one's sex life, it is often hard to make the changes needed to correct them," adds Lee. "This creates a temptation in women to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere with someone they don't have the baggage with and can be more uninhibited." Now you know why women cheat. But we say, if you're thinking about cheating, just break up with the guy, before you move on to a new one. (Yahoo News) |
說到男性,大多數(shù)人都會(huì)覺得他們骨子里是欲望動(dòng)物:眼神游離不定,還想要擁有多位性伴侶。但是,說到出軌,也許男女比我們想象得更加“平等”。(比如克里斯汀?斯圖爾特)心理學(xué)碩士、兩性關(guān)系專家蕾妮-李給出了以下5個(gè)女性出軌的理由。 1、正在經(jīng)歷轉(zhuǎn)變 “如果正面臨畢業(yè),到了某個(gè)年紀(jì),失去至親或感情狀態(tài)更進(jìn)一步,女性會(huì)開始反思自己。”蕾妮解釋道,“即使這些是她想要的,比如訂婚或者畢業(yè),但這些轉(zhuǎn)變還是會(huì)在內(nèi)心激起波瀾,她們不禁會(huì)思考應(yīng)該何去何從,或者她自身的狀態(tài)。這些變化帶來的不快會(huì)使人一時(shí)沖動(dòng)去另尋他人來分散自己的注意力,讓自己暫時(shí)逃避目前的處境。” 2、覺得不夠被重視 我們都有過這樣的情況:“工作上得到晉升,組織了一次募捐活動(dòng),又或者給20人聚會(huì)準(zhǔn)備感恩節(jié)晚餐,男性常忽略的一點(diǎn)是:沒有好好贊揚(yáng)妻子的成就。”蕾妮說,“女性總是希望她們的丈夫能給予她們更多關(guān)注,為她們的成就而自豪,并感謝她們的付出。所以,當(dāng)她們?cè)诩依锏貌坏竭@些情感需求時(shí),她們會(huì)覺得受挫、不滿、沮喪、不安。” 這時(shí)候她們就可能會(huì)另尋關(guān)心。“當(dāng)你日復(fù)一日地和另一半一起生活后,經(jīng)常會(huì)忽視掉對(duì)另一半真正重要的事情。”蕾妮補(bǔ)充道,“隨著時(shí)間的流逝,一旦女性此時(shí)遇到一個(gè)可以彌補(bǔ)這些的男性,她們就會(huì)視之為感情,進(jìn)而想和對(duì)方進(jìn)一步發(fā)展關(guān)系。” 3、覺得感情關(guān)系走到盡頭 “當(dāng)一個(gè)女性覺得這段感情快要枯萎,不管是自己還是對(duì)方所致,她可能會(huì)向外尋求慰藉來填補(bǔ)目前的空虛,使自己不至于受到太嚴(yán)重的打擊。”蕾妮在分析女性的背叛時(shí),認(rèn)為“如果她是那個(gè)想要分手的人,那她可能會(huì)用這種策略來挑戰(zhàn)自己同時(shí)探探風(fēng)頭,然后尋思是否能這樣做。” 4、生活沒有歡樂 ...但卻很難停下來。“當(dāng)你們之間沒有了笑聲,沒有了愛……歡笑是一段關(guān)系中很重要的元素,但卻經(jīng)常被忽略。”蕾妮簡單地解釋道。“當(dāng)緊張壓抑成為每天的主旋律時(shí),女方會(huì)覺得不開心。當(dāng)她們遇到一位可以共度美好時(shí)光的同事或朋友時(shí),她們會(huì)突然發(fā)現(xiàn)這正是目前的感情關(guān)系里所沒有的,因而會(huì)甘愿冒險(xiǎn)。” 5、床上生活較枯燥。 并不是只有男性需要調(diào)動(dòng)情趣。“女性也需要得到滿足。”蕾妮聲稱,“如果她的需求得不到滿足,女性會(huì)開始感到性空虛。”在女性閱讀《五十度灰》等熱門書籍、觀看電視節(jié)目、或聽朋友聊單獨(dú)約會(huì)的樂趣時(shí),會(huì)將自己的愛情生活和其他人相比較。”蕾妮補(bǔ)充道,“這個(gè)時(shí)候她會(huì)想想自己錯(cuò)過了什么。” “盡管很容易就可以找出性生活方面的不足之處,但想要改正過來卻有些難。”蕾妮補(bǔ)充道,“這會(huì)誘使一些女性出去另尋無拘無束的性滿足。” 現(xiàn)在你明白了為什么女性會(huì)出軌。但是如果你也正打算出軌,先去和另一半分手吧,然后再去找下一位。 相關(guān)閱讀 大學(xué)生柴會(huì)龍的“家庭農(nóng)場(chǎng)夢(mèng)” 衛(wèi)計(jì)委將強(qiáng)制規(guī)定捐獻(xiàn)器官由系統(tǒng)分配 確保公平分配 (譯者:陌上依清 編輯:Julie) |