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Starting today you can be the happiest person if you pick up these habits
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I think of myself as the happiest person whenever I walk into a room, and most people notice my smile right away. Here are 20 ways you can find yourself as happy as I am. 1. Let it go. When someone criticizes you or says something not-so-nice, just forget it. Worse things have been uttered in human history. Even when you know the person meant it, remember that you become stronger by accepting them for who they are and knowing your capabilities. 2. Be kind. People who are mean and feel the need to put others down are insecure with themselves. But when you are kind to others, kindness returns to you. 3. Think of your problems as challenges. When you come up against a difficulty, whether a person or an event, consider what your future self will have learned from it. I believe it was Kanye West, or maybe Nietszche, who said, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” 4. Express gratitude. When you let people know that you appreciate them, they are more willing to help you in the future. Saying thank you is more than good manners—it’s karma. 5. Dream big. The happiest person has reached the highest level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs—self-actualization. If you want to be happy you must work hard to achieve something, and strive to attain that life goal. 6. Speak well of others. The Buddhist notion of “right thought, right action” is an important one. It’s in the mind that negativity starts. By clearing your head of negative ideas of others, you will clear your mind of problems, worries and fears, and you won’t be tempted to gossip or speak ill and bring that negativity back to you. 7. Be in the now. Yes, you have to do your laundry and clean the bathroom when you get home, but while you’re here now eating this cheeseburger, just enjoy the cheeseburger. Then apply this lesson to all other moments of pleasure and work—you can deal with the little stuff later. 8. Do not compare yourself to others. As soon as you start this, you fall into a trap of ego, a grasping at the temporal, fleeting aspects of reality. Instead, think about what you have that makes you happy, or at least satisfied. 9. Realize you don’t need others’ approval. As long as you do what makes you happy, you don’t need other people to condone your actions. This will free you to act on what you believe, which will instill confidence into your every act. 10. Be honest. Lies, even little ones, imply that you are willing to be lied to in return. But when you keep your conversation honest, you will maintain a higher level of integrity in your world. 11. Take time to listen. The happiest person doesn’t interrupt because she knows that if she wants to be heard, she has to listen to others. By listening instead of waiting to speak, you can understand what motivates others, which can help you build rapport with them and understand yourself. 12. Accept what can’t be changed. Sure, I wish I was taller, smarter, and better looking. But I’m not. As soon as I realized that I wasn’t going to be President of the U.S.A., I figured out what I did want to do with my life: write. 13. Read daily selections from a book of wisdom. Magazines and newspapers are all well and good, but the reason people throughout history have dedicated their lives to religion and philosophy is because of the wisdom these sacred texts hold. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Bible, Torah or Quran verse, reading these books of wisdom will remind you of what came before and what will come after you. 14. Travel at least two weeks of the year. It’s even better if it’s foreign travel. Alas, getting out of the country can be expensive. When you go somewhere different, to remind yourself of how people live in places other than those that you’re used to, you will be happy to return to what you have when it’s time. 15. Catch yourself before negativity starts. Yeah, it’s easy to read the above points and say, okay, I get it. But the hardest part of being happy is realizing when negativity starts to creep into your mind and from there, getting rid of it. 16. Dress well. You’re only as good as you feel, and you can only feel good if you look good. Personal hygiene, grooming, and fashion enter into this. Rarely will you find someone well-dressed crying by themselves. 17. Enjoy sadness. John Keats said that in the “temple of delight melancholy has her sovran shrine.” In other words, at the heart of every joy is a glimmer of sadness waiting to shine through. The same goes for sadness—within every pain is a reversal of fortune that will lead you to feel happy again. So when those moments come, enjoy them. They won’t last long. 18. Eat well. You are what you eat, so if you’re stuffing yourself with cheeseburgers and hot dogs every day, chances are you are overweight and you lack energy and mental clarity. Instead, make sure to eat enough fruit and vegetables, protein and carbohydrates—and indulge in moderation. 19. Keep in touch with your friends and family. Your family—in most cases—loves you unconditionally. It’s important to keep in touch with them, whether it’s a weekly phone call or an annual visit. Friends too help to inspire and support happy people. Take time out of your week to communicate with them. 20. Be alone. The happiest person is comfortable spending time by himself. That’s because he loves himself. A lot. He is just as comfortable spending an entire day alone as he is spending it with someone else. You should be too. |
每當(dāng)我進(jìn)入一個(gè)房間的時(shí)候,我總是認(rèn)為自己是最幸福的人,大部分的人都會(huì)立刻注意到我的微笑。下面是20條習(xí)慣,可以讓你和我一樣幸福。 1.順其自然 當(dāng)有人批評(píng)你或說(shuō)你壞話時(shí),別往心里去。人類歷史上還發(fā)生過(guò)比這更糟糕的事情呢。即便你知道這個(gè)人不是在開(kāi)玩笑,記住,學(xué)會(huì)接受并相信自己的能力會(huì)讓你變得更強(qiáng)大。 2.待人友善 有些人刻薄,喜歡貶低別人以求得自身的安全感。但當(dāng)你友善地對(duì)待他人時(shí),他們也會(huì)用友善回報(bào)你。 3.把問(wèn)題看做挑戰(zhàn) 遇到困難時(shí),不論這困難是人還是事,想想你將會(huì)從中學(xué)到什么。記不清是坎耶維特斯(Kanye West)還是尼采(Nietszche)曾說(shuō)過(guò),“那些殺不死我的東西,只會(huì)讓我變更強(qiáng)。” 4.學(xué)會(huì)表達(dá)感謝 時(shí)時(shí)對(duì)人表達(dá)感謝之意會(huì)使他們?cè)谖磥?lái)更愿意幫助你。說(shuō)一句“謝謝”不僅僅是禮貌——凡事都有因果報(bào)應(yīng)。 5.理想遠(yuǎn)大 最幸福的人已經(jīng)達(dá)到馬洛斯需求層次的最高層次——自我實(shí)現(xiàn)。想要幸福,你就得努力工作取得些成就,并努力實(shí)現(xiàn)人生目標(biāo)。 6.稱贊他人 佛語(yǔ)說(shuō)“思想正確決定行動(dòng)正確”,這是個(gè)很重要的觀念。消極情緒是從思想中產(chǎn)生的。清除大腦中對(duì)他人的負(fù)面想法,就會(huì)清除你腦中的問(wèn)題、擔(dān)憂與恐懼,這樣你就不想八卦或詆毀他人,也不會(huì)再把消極情緒帶給自己。 7.干什么想什么 是的,你回家后需要洗衣服、打掃浴室,但現(xiàn)在你正在吃奶酪堡,那就好好享受現(xiàn)在的美食。把這個(gè)道理應(yīng)用到其他的娛樂(lè)和工作時(shí)間——你可以等會(huì)兒再完成那些瑣事。 8.不要把自己和他人作比較 一旦開(kāi)始,你便會(huì)陷入自我意識(shí)的陷阱、世俗的貪婪、即逝的現(xiàn)實(shí)。相反,想想你擁有的讓你幸福的一切,或者至少讓你滿意的東西。 9.清楚你不需要他人的認(rèn)同 只要你的作為讓你開(kāi)心,那么就不需要他人認(rèn)同的你的行為。這將使你自由地做你信仰的事情,并且一舉一動(dòng)都充滿自信。 10.誠(chéng)信待人 謊言,即使是微不足道的小謊,都暗示著別人也可能對(duì)你撒謊。但如果你誠(chéng)信待人,那么你的世界便會(huì)充滿誠(chéng)信。 11.學(xué)會(huì)傾聽(tīng) 最幸福的人不會(huì)打斷他人,因?yàn)樗溃绻M腥藘A聽(tīng),首先要學(xué)會(huì)傾聽(tīng)他人。傾聽(tīng),而不是找機(jī)會(huì)說(shuō)話,你會(huì)理解他人的動(dòng)機(jī),這樣可以幫助你與他人建立融洽的關(guān)系,并且可以更好地理解自己。 12.不能改變的,學(xué)會(huì)接受 當(dāng)然,我希望我可以再高點(diǎn)、聰明點(diǎn)、好看點(diǎn),但是我不能。當(dāng)我清楚自己不可能成為美國(guó)總統(tǒng)時(shí),我找到了我真正想做的事情:寫作。 13.每天讀本智慧的書籍 雜志或報(bào)紙都是不錯(cuò)的選擇。歷史上人們把生命奉獻(xiàn)給宗教或哲學(xué)的原因就是這些神圣語(yǔ)篇里充滿智慧。圣經(jīng)、律法、古蘭經(jīng)都可以,讀這些智慧的書籍會(huì)提醒你銘記過(guò)去憧憬未來(lái)。 14.每年至少花兩周時(shí)間旅行 出國(guó)游當(dāng)然是最好的了。唉,但是出國(guó)游非常昂貴。到一個(gè)不同的環(huán)境,看看那里的生活和你居住的地方有什么不同,這樣,旅行結(jié)束時(shí)你會(huì)很開(kāi)心回到原來(lái)的地方。 15.把消極情緒關(guān)在門外 是的,以上幾條讀起來(lái)很容易,你會(huì)說(shuō),好的,我知道了。但是成為一個(gè)幸福的人最困難的部分是,知道什么時(shí)候消極情緒會(huì)涌上心頭,并及時(shí)的制止。 16.衣著得體 只有自己覺(jué)得好才是好,而只有儀表得體時(shí)才會(huì)自我感覺(jué)不錯(cuò)。這包括個(gè)人衛(wèi)生、儀容和服裝。你很少遇見(jiàn)衣著講究的人大喊大叫的。 17.享受悲傷 約翰濟(jì)慈說(shuō)過(guò)“在快樂(lè)居住的殿堂里面,隱匿的憂郁有一至尊的偶像。”換句話說(shuō),快樂(lè)的中心是一絲憂郁等待發(fā)光。反過(guò)來(lái)也一樣,悲傷的中心是運(yùn)勢(shì)的轉(zhuǎn)換,引領(lǐng)你再次走向快樂(lè)。所以,悲傷來(lái)臨時(shí),學(xué)會(huì)享受,它不會(huì)待很久的。 18.吃得營(yíng)養(yǎng) 人如其食,所以如果你每天都吃奶酪堡和熱狗,那么很有可能你很胖,并且缺乏活力和清醒的頭腦。相反,每天應(yīng)該多吃蔬菜和水果,攝入足夠的蛋白質(zhì)和碳水化合物——適量最好。 19.常和家人朋友保持聯(lián)絡(luò) 大多數(shù)情況下,家人對(duì)你的愛(ài)是無(wú)條件的。不論是一周通一次電話還是一年回家探望一次,和家人保持聯(lián)絡(luò)是非常重要的。朋友也是幸福之人的鼓勵(lì)與支持。所以每周花點(diǎn)時(shí)間和他們交流交流吧。 20.享受獨(dú)處 最幸福的人十分享受獨(dú)處的時(shí)間,因?yàn)樗浅?ài)自己。自己獨(dú)處和與別人相處一樣舒適愉快。你也應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)享受獨(dú)處。 (譯者 catherine珊 編輯 丹妮) |
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