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Love maintenance keeps couples together
SHANGHAI: More couples with marriage problems are turning to Shu Xin, the nation's first marriage analyst, to find a solution to their difficulties. Shu, who used to be a columnist on human relationships, has set up the Love Maintenance Consulting Company, perceiving great business potential among Shanghai's married population. The company, with six lawyers and 12 consultants, assesses the quality of the marriage, spots out the problems and offers the most appropriate advice, charging the clients 200-300 yuan (US$24-US$36) per hour, which is fairly high according to current salary levels in China. A sign of Shu's success is that 80 per cent of the couples who visited his company decided to stay together. Guided by the advice of Shu and his colleagues, they have continued their marriages, adopting a more positive and active attitude towards their partners. As China's first professional marriage analyst, Shu is self-taught, working while learning, and very happy to invent the term of "marriage analyst" which has been widely recognized. He used to follow a method developed by Family Saver, a famous marriage consulting and assisting company in the United States, which involved giving out a questionnaire to clients. On the form there are some 50 questions covering different aspects of family life, with particular details of sexual behaviour. The answers from clients would clearly reveal the real state of the marriage. "However, this questionnaire proved to be not so practical in Shanghai, as Chinese are rather conservative about sex or talking about sex and many clients are not so objective in answering those questions," Shu said. He later developed three categories of marriages - sexless marriages, loveless marriages and marriages which, if they continue, would only harm the two partners and their children. Couples falling into the first category will often be suggested to put off their divorce and most of them will usually improve their marriages based on specific advice Shu has given them. "Marriage is like a business which goes through ups and downs and there will always be losers and winners. The couple are demanded to spare no efforts to operate the business well and seek a win-win result," Shu said. Following Shu, several more such companies have been established in Shanghai and in places outside Shanghai such as Shenzhen in South China's Guangdong Province. To improve the overall status of Chinese marriages, the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences is drafting a training outline to help engaged couples prepare for marriage. "There is no such a term as marriage analyst even in the United States," said
Xu Anqi, an expert on marriage and family at the Shanghai Academy of Social
Sciences. "Whatever the term, such a profession is really badly needed by
Chinese couples."
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